Fame At Last
Fame at Last
April 15, 2005
I was interviewed recently by the world renowned Commerce City Beacon. While this esteemed publication has a circulation marginally less than the Wall Street Journal or, perhaps, Women's Underwear Weekly, it is particularly notable this week simply because I am in it.
Last week, the latest and greatest technological wonder our company has devised rolled into town, found where we hide and parked its conspicuous self in my lot. A half-million dollar trailer filled with assorted visual aids and plasma tv's all designed to pitch our new satellite tracking product. Head office alerted the media to the presence of this wonder in our midst and, much to my unhappy surprise a camera crew and newspaper reporter showed up. I believe Denver was encountering what is called a 'slow news day.'
At any rate, the public relations person accompanying the trailer showed me a 5 minute video on how to best present myself to the media whilst attempting to explain a product about which I have only a very basic understanding. And then excluded himself from any further contributions.
As directed by the video, I looked directly into the camera, but found I could not bring myself to smile. Enthusiastic is not the best word to describe how I felt at being thrust unexpectedly into a situation wherein lay infinite opportunities to make a public spectacle of myself. However, I did hold up a piece of the technological gizmo and hoped the cameras would focus on that instead of on me.
For one reason or another, the TV people disappeared outside while I was preparing my spiel and filmed exterior shots of the trailer as well as close ups of various other things of dubious interest, leaving me alone with the newspaper reporter who eventually wrote the article.
I should add that the gods were with me that day as, at the last possible moment, our media relations officer from head office put in an appearance. The P.R. person mentioned in paragraph three above had failed to mention he would be coming and I had been told the day before by someone else that he would not. (At that time I also naively believed that no media would appear; I mean how could a semi-trailer be of any possible interest to the general public?). Anyway, it turned out our media relations officer was in fact scheduled to appear and that his flight to Denver from the east coast had been late in arriving. After expressing some consternation upon learning I had already conducted a media interview ("geez dude, ya didn't screw it up did ya?") he took my place in front of the TV crew who had re-assembled inside.
"Where are your customers?" he asked.
"Um, they aren't scheduled to take the tour until after lunch and seeing it's 10:00 a.m. I wouldn't expect them anytime soon."
"Weren't you told that TV would be here now and to scrape up a couple of customers willing to appear on the tube while getting a sales pitch on our product?"
"Um. No."
"Why the hell not?"
"Um. Isn't that your job? I mean, aren't you supposed to tell me what's going on and when? Yesterday I was told you weren't even coming and then this morning your hired P.R. boy over there shows me a 5 minute video and announces I'm to be the next Ron Popeil. Gimme a break! This is my branch and it is up to you to tell me if and when you are coming, what to expect and what to get lined up. No customers are expected for at least a couple of hours, so there you are."
"Okay. Hide the company logo on your shirt. You are now a customer and I'll give you a pitch."
For my first ever talent gig I got about 2 seconds worth of TV time nodding stupidly at our media relations officer as he droned on into the camera, but I learned a couple of things that day. The first is that the media can turn absolutely anything, no matter how mundane, into a story. The TV people took the same line as the newspaper reporter: "Technological wonder rolls into town!" Given the nature of the product being pitched I suppose they could have also taken the stand "Big Brother secretly tracks truck drivers as they criss-cross the nation". But they didn't. And why didn't they? Oh, that's easy. The reason the TV crew showed up is because they were ordered to. They were employed by the network that is also a subsidiary of our parent company. This was less a news story than it was subliminal advertising.
But I got my picture in the paper and 2 seconds of TV fame without making a fool of myself. That's all that counts.
April 15, 2005
I was interviewed recently by the world renowned Commerce City Beacon. While this esteemed publication has a circulation marginally less than the Wall Street Journal or, perhaps, Women's Underwear Weekly, it is particularly notable this week simply because I am in it.
Last week, the latest and greatest technological wonder our company has devised rolled into town, found where we hide and parked its conspicuous self in my lot. A half-million dollar trailer filled with assorted visual aids and plasma tv's all designed to pitch our new satellite tracking product. Head office alerted the media to the presence of this wonder in our midst and, much to my unhappy surprise a camera crew and newspaper reporter showed up. I believe Denver was encountering what is called a 'slow news day.'
At any rate, the public relations person accompanying the trailer showed me a 5 minute video on how to best present myself to the media whilst attempting to explain a product about which I have only a very basic understanding. And then excluded himself from any further contributions.
As directed by the video, I looked directly into the camera, but found I could not bring myself to smile. Enthusiastic is not the best word to describe how I felt at being thrust unexpectedly into a situation wherein lay infinite opportunities to make a public spectacle of myself. However, I did hold up a piece of the technological gizmo and hoped the cameras would focus on that instead of on me.
For one reason or another, the TV people disappeared outside while I was preparing my spiel and filmed exterior shots of the trailer as well as close ups of various other things of dubious interest, leaving me alone with the newspaper reporter who eventually wrote the article.
I should add that the gods were with me that day as, at the last possible moment, our media relations officer from head office put in an appearance. The P.R. person mentioned in paragraph three above had failed to mention he would be coming and I had been told the day before by someone else that he would not. (At that time I also naively believed that no media would appear; I mean how could a semi-trailer be of any possible interest to the general public?). Anyway, it turned out our media relations officer was in fact scheduled to appear and that his flight to Denver from the east coast had been late in arriving. After expressing some consternation upon learning I had already conducted a media interview ("geez dude, ya didn't screw it up did ya?") he took my place in front of the TV crew who had re-assembled inside.
"Where are your customers?" he asked.
"Um, they aren't scheduled to take the tour until after lunch and seeing it's 10:00 a.m. I wouldn't expect them anytime soon."
"Weren't you told that TV would be here now and to scrape up a couple of customers willing to appear on the tube while getting a sales pitch on our product?"
"Um. No."
"Why the hell not?"
"Um. Isn't that your job? I mean, aren't you supposed to tell me what's going on and when? Yesterday I was told you weren't even coming and then this morning your hired P.R. boy over there shows me a 5 minute video and announces I'm to be the next Ron Popeil. Gimme a break! This is my branch and it is up to you to tell me if and when you are coming, what to expect and what to get lined up. No customers are expected for at least a couple of hours, so there you are."
"Okay. Hide the company logo on your shirt. You are now a customer and I'll give you a pitch."
For my first ever talent gig I got about 2 seconds worth of TV time nodding stupidly at our media relations officer as he droned on into the camera, but I learned a couple of things that day. The first is that the media can turn absolutely anything, no matter how mundane, into a story. The TV people took the same line as the newspaper reporter: "Technological wonder rolls into town!" Given the nature of the product being pitched I suppose they could have also taken the stand "Big Brother secretly tracks truck drivers as they criss-cross the nation". But they didn't. And why didn't they? Oh, that's easy. The reason the TV crew showed up is because they were ordered to. They were employed by the network that is also a subsidiary of our parent company. This was less a news story than it was subliminal advertising.
But I got my picture in the paper and 2 seconds of TV fame without making a fool of myself. That's all that counts.
posted by alex malcolm at 12:50 pm
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